Your daughter feels like she has two Mothers. You feel like you are back in the sixth grade. Your husband is weary from the overtime he works. You are one of the growing number of sandwich families in America. Mom or Dad is now living with your family while you’re still raising your children.

At the last Parent-Teacher meeting at our elementary school there were six grandparents present. The adjustments can be tough for every member of the family. Parents have done a lot of sharing after the school meetings and it has seeded a small support group. We all face common logistic and relationship challenges.

Our group has been providing help making meals and serving food at church once a week. On the weekends we collect donations to support hot meals at the Aging Americans Center in our community. Folks can drop off or we will pick up donations. We discovered that many businesses and cube stores actually have a budget for supporting non-profit efforts in their community. This has been a huge boon.

I had my eye on the hdtv plasma tvs set up in the center while my wife was bidding on the kitchenaid food processor. It was a rewarding evening for the senior center and for all of us. My wife and I compromised and successfully bid the delonghi space heater. The best part was the sharing of personal stories.

One couple shared the dynamic of having a child and a parent that used diapers. There was lots of talk about the ‘reality check’. Critical grandmothers are not always appreciated by today’s teen. Conflicts can arise from comments about clothes, makeup, and music. One parent talked about the ‘trigger’ words list in their home.

Medical appointments, picking up prescriptions, administering medication, special diets, and other considerations have to be met. Many talked about the clash between ‘generation text’ and their grandparents. Conflict seems to be inevitable. Just as there are more than one problem with sandwich families, there is more than one solution.

We raised funds to begin a respite program. We created an adult day care where our parents can socialize and bond. This provides a few precious hours to spend with the kids, attend an after school activity or just be a couple. There is much more to be accomplished but our community is headed in the right direction.

Everyone who volunteers knows that they deliver more than hot food. They are providing the nourishment of human contact. The volunteer may be the only companionship that person experiences all week. Our ’small group’ is now reaching out to other circles like ours to combine our elder care efforts. We have a formed a vision team to look ahead to identify upcoming needs and consider solutions.